Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Wow. I just got done watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and have once again funded Charlie Kauffman's creative genius, so that feels good. If you haven't had the chance to see it, please please please check it out. Jim Carrey stars in it and it's a extremely complex story of the concept of mind erasure, fictional or not. Jim Carret meets this amazing girl played by Kate Winslet who I think it just gorgeous in this movie. She reminds me of all my girlfriends from the past, which is a good thing. We later find out that she wants her memory erased fromt their relationship, then he later wants the same thing done after finding that she had it done (which was supposedly confidential). So, well....I don't wanna ruin it, but it's quite a moving film, to say the least. It really helped me out in telling myself and hopefully someday believing that memories are made to be memories...if that makes any sense. Like all the memories that I'm now cherishing finally from college and highschool are hitting me like a brick wall, and it's extremely tough sometimes to take it all. But this movie shows that memories make who we are today and is the blood that gives us life. Memories can also be made without even knowing it, too. But, right now it's hard to believe that memories and good times are ahead. I'm transitioning my life from what once was college and school...period. It's been a scary ordeal and it's tough, I must say. New environment, new "culture", older people who aren't happy, a lot of things. It's funny how excited I was to leave a familiar place and move to a totally new place, but I think I wasn't as ready as I thought. But I know that all this is me getting used to everything. Things are getting better and I am adjusting as well, but like I said memories are made to be memories, and has made me the nice, likeable guy that I am today. The past was better than I could've ever imagined, and now I want to take on the world. So, I just want to say thank you to anyone who has brought me here today. All my wonderful friends, colleagues, girlfriends, and most of all my family. I love you all.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Damn...it's been a while

Wow. I was wanting to post something either right before I left for Eglin AFB here in Florida, or as soon as I got here. Anyways, here it is. I feel like I should at least post something since it's been a couple months since the last blog-postation. Well, I must say that the day that I left was probably one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. The night before my dad asked me to come out on the deck and talk with him. As soon as I walked outside he broke down and started crying. For a second I didn't know what to think or do, but then I realized that this was my father crying over his son that is getting ready to go off into the real world, no more of the protected younger life that I've lived, no more highschool choir concerts for them to attend, no more visits to me at IU. I immediately broke down, too. I looked at it from his point of view and couldn't imagine how hard it must've been for him. His last kid, the baby, was leaving him. Images crowded my head all of sudden. I remember him and I going to the park up the street to fly a kite. We only went a few times, but I clearly remember how much joy it brought to me as a kid. I remember all the times that we would go to Lyndon and play softball. He would help out in coaching and everyone loved him. All these times I've really cherished and it was so hard to leave such a warm place. I just tried to hang on to him and comfort him as best as possible. I know knew that I was looking at some tough times ahead. Big changes were on the horizon.

My roomate Mike told me last night that I grew up with such good people, and it's hard to notice sometimes, but it's really true. I couldn't have asked for a better life at this point in time. So, the next day I was supposed to drive down to Fort Walton Beach, FL and get to base within a 2 day time period. A few days before I took my precious little Honda Civic to get it checked out before I took it for a 10 hr trip. Knowing that I had already had 195,000 miles on it, it probably would've been a good idea for it to get checked out. Turns out, we didn't get the car back until around 11am that day after delaying and delaying. So, at this point I was getting pretty pissed off, because this was the AIR FORCE! This was military...I HAD to get down there! So, my parents go and pick it up, bring it back and I throw all the stuff I could in the car and just wanted to get out of there. But, as soon as I get in the car both my parents start crying again. My dog Sasha was probably crying, too. As you can imagine, this is extremely difficult to take...seeing your parents crying in knowing that the baby was leaving them. I couldn't help but get quite emotional too as I drove away. That was one of the hardest days I think I've ever had. To add a little humor to it all, I was listening to the radio as I was driving my way out of the subdivision, and Journey came on! "Faithfully" was the perfect song! At the time I wasn't laughing at how ridiculous that was, but now that I think about it, it's quite hilarious.

I must say that the hardest thing about living in the real world and working for the military is just a huge overall lifestyle change. You wake up at 6:00 am or 6:30 am Monday through Friday. You try to get to bed at 10 or 11 o' clock. I must say, it definitely sucks and is very depressing. You know finally realize that your days in college are up. Your time living the "high life" is over. I don't want to sound this damn depressing, but it's true in a sense. But, I've also come to realize that my life isn't over. Now I have a purpose in life. I am now using everything I've learned about life and applying it to all of this. But, damn; I have to say that I miss IU SO MUCH! It's really hard sometimes. I was lying in bed last night thinking about the hundreds, maybe thousands of great memories I've had in Bloomington, and that was what I was going to do today...write about it...jog the old memory. Eh, maybe next blog. This one's a wee bit long at this point. Things are really looking up now though, but I'm still adjusting to all of this. The first week was very rough. I was staying with people that I didn't know. The only thing that I could do to make me somewhat more comfortable was to call some friends, and I thank them for listening to me. This wasn't freshman year. People my age weren't living down the hall in a dorm. People around me aren't 22 and looking to have a good time...still. The people around me as mostly already married, call me sir, don't drink like they were still in college, and just have a more adult outlook on life now. But, no one said that the real world was just a continuation of college. It isn't. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I've learned that you can make whatever the hell you want out of your life. You can do ANYTHING YOU WANT...that's legal. I also value my time away from work more than ever. With school, you have a few hours of classes a day...nothing too boring or taxing. Then you come home, eat something, watch tv, pass out on the couch. And hey, maybe drink a few beers later on that night. Essentially, you were paying a hefty tuition to do all of those things. It wasn't a bad deal at all, really. I'm still proud of what I've done at IU and all of the things I've done, in class and out of class. But just like with anything, the time outside of class/work is what you remember the most...and that's a great thing! You remember all the times with your friends and the stupid shit they may have done to piss someone else off, the football games, the basketball games, and of course the drinking games.

And that brings me to my final paragraph (sorry for the length by the way). Last week I had an idea of going out and buying a huge 8x4 foot sheet of plywood. A beer pong table was about to be born. So, I did my research...nothing uncommon with me. So, Saturday night, my good friend Josh from freshman year in highschool (also in the AF) comes down from Montgomery, AL where he's been training and helps me out with this little project. So, we went to Lowe's and buy an 8x4 ft sheet of plywood, two horses (that hold the table up), a pony keg of Bud Light, cups, and ping pong balls...sounds familiar, huh? Well, this was the first time I bought a table specifically for beer pong, so there. It was beautiful...a tear maybe? We set it up and we were in business. As we knocked out a few games, Mike brought up the idea that we should paint it. We should paint it as a tribute to the one and only Indiana University. Then in a drunken sparkle of thought, I imaged a table that was an exact replica of Assembly Hall's basketball court. Doesn't this sound AWESOME?! So, the next day Mike and I start on drawing the half court line, free throw line, every single little detail based on some pictures of the court Mike printed off online. He even painted the state of Indiana at the half court line!! Holy shit this thing was going to be awesome! I'm not sure if I mentioned this already, but Mike graduated from IU in December of 2003 from AFROTC; and we both shared the love of IU and the many memories as well. It was our duty to make something that would bring us back there! So, it's in the making right now and I've been taking pictures...in a Bob Ross style of course. I'll post them soon. :)

I hope that everyone is doing well and I would love to hear from any of you guys...and girls of course. Later on :)